Tiger's Spirit, Human Heart
An Excerpt From Chapter One
The Student
As the education of the young warrior continued, the student found that the first lesson, "to see solutions," was much easier said then done. He learned this truth on a variety of painful levels. For example, seeing solutions is hard when our physical well-being and safety are at risk.
During the first year of the apprenticeship, the master trains the student in the arts of war on a daily basis. Although much older, and not as strong or fast as the younger man, the master is many times more skilled and experienced. From day one, as the boy had expected, it is never an even match. The training is intense, the pressure is constant, and the old man's wooden practice sword is very, very, hard. Additionally, there is never a time when the student is truly safe. The master strikes him in the blink of an eye, anytime, day or night -- whenever his attention lags or wanders.
Seeing solutions is also difficult when you are caught off guard or blind-sided by the unexpected.
In addition to his physical training, the student is also responsible for managing the master's household and affairs. This task isn't much easier. The teacher has many varied interests and there are countless demands on the student's time and energy. Additionally, the student is sent to deal with an endless number of ignorant, stubborn and cruel people, and on one impossible mission after another. Always, no matter how a situation is resolved, it seems to the young man that it was never good enough for the master.
Finally, it is very hard for any of us to see solutions when we feel as if we have been pushed past our limits. How can we possibly hope to find answers when we lack the resources to simply get by from one day to the next, or the strength to just "come up with something" that will save us?
At some point in his apprenticeship the student comes to doubt himself. For the first time in his life he feels ashamed at his limitations. He becomes nervous and jumpy. His performance as the master's sparring partner gets worse -- not better. There are many times that the student wants to just turn and run away. He has brief frightening moments where he thinks of taking his own life. On other days, he is more tempted to take out his sword and kill the next person who so much as looks at him in a funny way -- the master included.
Finally, not knowing what else to do, the student goes to the teacher. He tells the old man that there must be something wrong with him. Maybe he is ill. The old man knows medicines and remedies - people come to him from across the region to be healed. "Please Master", says the student, looking down, "I am sorry, but I am sick. Please give me something to feel better. There must be some medicine..."
The old man looks at the young one for a long quiet moment, and says, in a kinder voice then the student had heard in quite a while, "My son, you are not sick. You need to control your emotion. Right now, your anger controls you. Your fear controls you. Worst of all, you waste your energy worrying about what will happen tomorrow, whether you are good enough, whether you will survive here. You are a leaf blowing in a storm of your own making."
The student is stunned to hear this -- especially after all he has endured. He becomes angry, and through barely controlled tears of rage yells, "No, Master! That is not true! I am not a child who cannot control his anger! And, I have never been afraid of anything in my entire life! I have had many opponents, and survived many life and death battles..."
Eventually, with effort, the student stops himself, and regains his composure. The teacher, still looking at him, finally says, "I am not the one you need to convince. Your argument is not with me -- it is with yourself."
Now, according to the story, everything the student had said to the teacher during his rant was true. The student had come to the teacher as an accomplished warrior. Where he came from, people knew of his skill and his courage. But, for some reason this challenge was different. Why was it so hard? After all, this is what he had always wanted. Yet, life as a student of the great master was not what he had expected. This is not what he had prepared for. Now, he never felt like he knew what to do. What was the solution?
That night he lay awake on his straw mat, staring at the ceiling, thinking about tomorrow. Worrying, "What if I am not good enough?"
Continued on Page 4 "The Second Lesson: To Control Your Emotions"
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